Vanity and Humility

People who know me knows I love quoting books and movies or even quotes when I’m trying to make a point. Thing is, I’ve derived my point of view mostly by putting up pieces of ideas from books and movies. I think most of us do the same thing. That’s why I’ve always thought that my point of view wasn’t so different from anyone else’s. And I still think so, that’s why I have to admit, when a close friend of mine suggested that I start a blog, the first thought I had was that was anybody going to read about it Were the things I had to say so much more significant than anybody else’s opinion?

A couple of months ago, I still lived with the idea in my head that I was special. That my thinking was unique and it made me special and even superior to some people. I was blunt and straight to the point and didn’t care about emotions. I see things in black and white and have always preferred the truth. I choose to live my life with the least amount of compromise I can squeeze into it. Then someone knocked me off my self-pedestal by telling me that I was mistaken to think that I’m that different. It wasn’t that I was really that unique. I was just vain.

That really hit me hard, because I’ve always pride myself in being different. My whole angst ridden point of view was derived from my sense of not belonging. Turns out, my “different” point of view was some sort of façade. I was different because I tried to be, not because I was. It was a blow but after sometime, it gave me a sense of humility. That someone shouldn’t be something they perceive themselves to be. They should just be real.

I had debates in my head whether or not I should start writing this blog. And it wasn’t because I had nothing to share, or that I thought the things I say wouldn’t matter. I hesitated because I was vain. It mattered more to me that people would love what I write, or that people would even read my stuff. But the voice inside my head gave me a huge slap in the face to make me realize it’s not about that. Like my friend said, I’ve got something to say, whether or not people appreciate it, at least I can make it be heard. So this is start of my blog.

I’d like to thank Kat Ultra for encouraging me to do this. It’s not a book Kat, but it’s a start. To Ms Charlene Bozon and Mark Guevarra for making me think that people would actually understand what I say.


4 thoughts on “Vanity and Humility

  1. JP Mata says:

    Very well done first post! Keep it up dear!

  2. eunycnyc says:

    hi paning! TRUE. i started a blog again (coz i cant find the ones i started before and never got to continue). and it’s with the same essence as yours, that i did it again. ito na ba ang ‘signs of quarter life’? hahaha.. see you online and offline! hug!

    • paningskie says:

      hey Nique. haha. if this is a sign of quarter life crisis, it may be a good one. haha. kasi if you stop and think about your life, where it’s going and where you want it to go, is that really a crisis? :p

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