Why do people assume to hear the worst from other people? Is it because they think that other people are just plain cruel or is it the reflection of their own insecurities?
I don’t think all people are cruel, I even honestly believe that only some people are really mean. It’s not that they don’t say things that are extremely insensitive, but most people just don’t filter what they say. Most things are just said as a statement, it’s not really meant to do damage or anything. It’s just up to the person receiving the message to interpret whether it’s positive or negative. We can say that most people now are sarcastic but that doesn’t mean that they are condescending and it doesn’t mean that they are judging you. Some people just say things, they just do, and it’s not something to be taken seriously. And if you think that a person is trying to insult you by just saying something, and then maybe the insult didn’t come from the sender, maybe it’s just the person’s perspective.
I think there’s also a huge difference by what a person means and how it is interpreted by other people. Not everything is the same from your head to how you say it. So I guess when one person say something, a person can interpret it both ways. A statement can always be neutral and the person giving always giving context to it is the recipient who finds it meaning. So come to think of it, an insult will never be an insult, if the person taking it doesn’t think that the statement is just a statement.
I think another problem with this is the way we see ourselves in the context of a statement. I mean, if someone makes a bad comment about us and we are certain that it’s not true, we just shrug and brush it off. But if we are extremely insecure about something and a person makes a slight comment about it, we will snap in an instant and rampage all over the place. You can say the nicest things about someone, and they will see an insult it they are insecure about it. (Think, girl asking a guy if she’s fat)
What sad about it is that most of us are extremely cynical that we always to choose to see things at its worst value that we fail to view the bright side of it. We see something as plain as a statement and turn it into an insult attacking our ego and we try so hard to turn it around. We want to prove ourselves against something we think is bringing us down when the truth is, there is really nothing to prove.
What I’m trying to say is that insults become insults to us because we want it to be. That’s just how it is. We will disregard intentions, context and even the true nature of something to see the insult that we want to see. It’s not even that people are trying to offend us; it’s just that we choose to think that they are.
Like all things, the things that frustrate us don’t really come from other people. Most things that give us nightmares are our own self doubt and maybe if we think about it some more and become less critical about it, we can see some good things coming from our former frustrations. And maybe that’s just what we need.