In life, we have a lot of frustrations and most of us think that our frustrations come from work, from our families, from relationships among many others but the truth is; our frustrations spring from only one source, ourselves. We let ourselves be affected with jobs that we hate, surround ourselves with people we don’t like and do things we don’t want, when in fact, we can just live our lives in a way that is stress free or least less stressed than we make ourselves to be.
To this, I always try to say these three simple things inside my head whenever life gets me down, as Denis Waitley put it, “Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable”. It’s that simple, but not entirely easy. Some people might think that it is impractical or maybe even impossible, but not really.
Change the changeable. To me, this refers to ourselves. I mean, the only things we can change is our own perspective, our attitude, our own desires and actions. I know most of us are stubborn by nature that we cling on to our ideas and hope that everything will fall into place, but in reality, that will never happen. A perfect storm is an extremely remote possibility so why build your life around that idea. Deal with what is and what can be, not what you dream it to be. I’m not saying don’t try to make your dreams possible, what I’m trying to imply is that your dreams should be based on what you can do and what’s within your grasp, it shouldn’t be dependent on other people’s efforts.
Accept the unchangeable. I think this is the biggest source of our frustrations. Many people think that frustrations are caused by other people but really, it’s our inability to accept things as they are. We always find it hard to accept the things that we can’t change. A perfect example is when we try to force what we want to other people. I mean, why can’t we just let people be, why do we have to make them want what we want? Why can’t we accept that other people have their own sense of wants that we frigidly force them to succumb to our own desire? Acceptance is a big thing I guess. People would rather mope and groan that they can’t get what they want out of life or from other people rather than accepting that life will not adapt itself to our specific wants and needs. We don’t understand the concept of “it is what it is” and we stubbornly want things as we want. We refuse to accept things as reality and try to cling on the fantasies that only exist in our minds. We try to create this alternate dimension where everything goes our way and that we can control everything, but that’s so far out of the real deal and when that hits us right in the face, we get frustrated.
Remove yourself from the unacceptable. I think most people suffer from this one because we fail to respect ourselves. I mean, why should be we let ourselves be involved in something we can’t stand? Why do we let ourselves stay in something that compromises us and just watch ourselves dwindle into nothing? We should be strong enough and respect ourselves enough to say, “no, I don’t deserve this and I can walk away from this if I want to.”
So remember those 3 simple things, I know they really aren’t the easiest things to do, but hey, whoever said life would be easy. We just have to accept the facts of life, that’s just how it is. We can’t live in a fantasy because if we did, we would lose the meaning of living. Reality will not cease to exist just because we want it to, it will be indifferent to our feelings and it would a much better perspective to just accept reality than to frustrate ourselves with it.