I’ve never been a big fan of apologies. I don’t even really believe in them because I think when you do something wrong, apologies become irrelevant because there’s nothing more that can be done. One person can really really be sorry, but apologies can change nothing, so I think we can say to some extent that it’s pointless.
Most people think that apologies are extremely important, after a big fight or a huge mistake regardless if it’s intentional or unintentional. I don’t. I don’t think apologies should even be uttered. Know why? Because an apology is just a word, much like house or car or work, and some people don’t even know what it means. Some people just say sorry then forget what it holds, how much it binds. This word has been used and overused that its meaning has become nothing. So why bother even saying it?
Also, people most of the time use apologies as a shadow for a mistake. People become hasty in a lot of things and could care less because at the end of the day, they know they can just apologize and get away with it. They use an apology card for trial and error regardless of what’s at stake, even if they are dealing with relationships and human emotions.
And lastly, I don’t believe in it because it changes nothing. It doesn’t even guaranty forgiveness. An apology will never change what has been done, no matter how sorry you may be, even if you mean it, an apology can never reverse the past, so like most things, I render in useless.
I know it sounds harsh and bitter, but I know some people share this truth. That an apology is some meaningless sentiment people say to be polite or to use as an escape goat. Because if a person really is sorry they wouldn’t need to apologize, they would just do what they can to make the person they have done wrong feel better, or accept the mistake. They would try their hardest to make the mistake irrelevant and the wrong that has been done. What people sometimes don’t get is that an apology isn’t just about saying that you’re sorry for something. Like the line, “there’s nothing more I can do but to say I’m sorry”. That’s just untrue. There is something you can do, you’re just to stuck up on the idea that apologizing is enough and actions wouldn’t do any good.
An apology is more than just a word, to me, I means that I will do what I promised or that I will try my best not to make the same mistake again. It’s the idea that you’ve made an error and you need to take action to make it better, not correct it, but just to make things better. It’s accepting the idea that you made a mistake that can’t be undone and the thing you need to do is to make amends.
And with regards to making apologies, I think this is an extremely good guideline:
“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sorts of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sorts take a mean advantage of them.” – PG Wodehouse.