People always ask, “Where is the good in goodbye?” and I tend to ask the same thing. Where IS the good in goodbye when it means that you have to separate yourself from a person you love. Where is the good in something that hurts when you face it and causes more pain even if you try to accept it. Where is the good in losing someone you trust and enjoy spending time with. Where is the good in letting go of someone you want to hold on to. I guess when we look at goodbyes that way, we can never say that there is something good in goodbyes. But in my recent experience, I have seen where this can be true; I have realized why goodbyes can be good too.
Well, first thing I guess is that we need to realize that goodbyes don’t mean you are not leaving things behind. Just because you’re bidding farewell for now, it doesn’t mean that you’re closing your doors. I think for the most part, a goodbye means you’re just expanding your horizons. It means that instead of having one door open, you’re trying to open other possible doors, and that does not necessarily mean that you’re closing the old door. Goodbyes are necessary for us to take in new things but that just mean we are opening ourselves to new possibilities and not shutting out on the things we have prior to that.
Some people also argue that even if you don’t leave things behind, the time that you spend apart will create a change that you can’t fill. This may have a point in some sense, because you really can’t take back the time that you’ve missed and maybe things will change and it would be hard to get things back. But what you need to think about is that things will change whether or not you are there. Change is inevitable, you can’t prevent things to happen and change to occur regardless of your influence. What you need to rely on is the bond you’ve built with the people you’ve touched and trust that that bond will not wither despite the circumstance.
Another thing we need to think about is that distance doesn’t mean that people will grow apart. I’m not saying that it doesn’t have any effect but to the people you’ve developed a strong affiliation with, distance won’t change a thing. Well yeah maybe you don’t get to watch a movie with them or have a beer or two, but those things are just incidental to the friendship you have. The underlying reason to spend time with that person is because you enjoy having them in your life, and that intention can never be dampened by distance.
I know these things are easier said than done, because like most people, I do understand the pains of saying goodbye to someone you are close to. But what we need to understand is that people do come and go, it’s just a fact of life. You do lose touch with people you’ve been close to and gain a different set of crowd. But that is just moving forward with your life. You can’t keep all the people you’ve met in close distance, because there will always be the ones who will stick no matter what, and those are the people who will stay forever.
I know it’s not easy to say goodbye, even if we say it’s for the better, even if we say it’s for the future and even if we say we’ll see each other again. It’s still painful and hard. But the mere fact that it hurts for us to say goodbye to someone is such a sweet feeling in itself, because at that time, we are acknowledging that the bond between the two of you are so strong that it would hurt that you will be apart. It means that you have cherished something so much that the thought of parting ways, even for the mean time and even in a short amount of time, it would still be heartbreaking is something to be happy about.
I’ve always loved the song that goes, goodbye doesn’t mean forever, let me tell you goodbye doesn’t mean we’ll never be together again, if you wake up and I’m not there, I won’t be gone away. This song really is an anthem, goodbyes aren’t really forever, it’s just a temporary separation to grow up and move forward. It’s a necessary fact of life that we all need to go through, to test ourselves and to test the friendships that we’ve made along the way. It’s a step that would make us stronger and would make us more grateful of the things we’ve done and the things that we can accomplish in our life. We have to embrace it as a part of our existence, we have to learn from it and understand it’s importance in our lives.
Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends. – Richard Bach
So don’t be scared of goodbyes, because it doesn’t mean that you’re losing friends, it doesn’t mean you’re cutting ties and it even doesn’t that you are losing time. It just means that you’re growing up and you need to broaden your view of the world. You’re not losing anything, in fact you’re gaining more.
Mark, this one is for you. I know it’s much more difficult for you because you will be starting a new life but that doesn’t mean you’re leaving your life here behind. It just means you’re expanding your reach by living a life outside of what you already have. Don’t ever be scared of the time that you’re not here, yes, things will change, but things will change, but the friends you have here and the memories that you’ve shared will always stay the same and I’m pretty sure that when you come back, those memories can still make us laugh as if time has not gone by. In times when you feel sad, you know we’re always here for you, but most importantly, you have to remember that you are strong enough to face anything in your way. There is really nothing you can’t face. Always keep in mind your goals and dreams, because that is where you will find the inspiration to go on and move forward, everytime you question why you’re there, just think about what you want to do with your life and that you need to sacrifice certain things to make that happen. Lastly, I want you to know that we’re happy for you, we’ll miss you and we know you’ll do great. Bon voyage Markee!