So your life is miserable and nobody cares what you do? Fear not! Because there’s a new way to get people to recognize how pathetic your life really is and people would think it’s awesome! How? Here’s a boring proof idiot guide into fishing for compliments AND ATTENTION! With 3 easy ways, you can fish for compliments and make people notice you without actually doing anything!
1. Try to appear to be doing something worthwhile. For example, take a picture of any random act during the day, post it on instagram and with an imaginative and descriptive hashtag and voila! Instant cool reactions from your friends (who are also fishing for compliments, so don’t forget to like what they are doing too!)
Like meter: 20 likes
2. Try to be at the scene. For example, stand in a long line for something completely ridiculous like donuts; take a picture before, during and after the act. Make sure to post pictures while it’s happening so people will know that you are on the scene and is hot on the spot. For additional attention, don’t forget to post statuses with complaints on how hard it is to stand in a long line and make sure that people understand that you have the time and money to stand in a line for hours just for the heck of it.
Like meter: 50 likes
3. For the ultimate fishing for compliments must do. Take a selfie in the mirror and comment on how you feel. Whether it’s lonely, happy, congested or constipated, people will definitely like and even comment on how pretty you must be. Don’t forget to highlight that you just woke up or that it’s no filter or that it’s the natural look, there is no such thing as a meaningless description. Make sure to comment back on how you don’t feel the need for the compliment because that will surely render more compliments! Also make sure that hastags (no matter how long and how many they are) should be on the post of the picture to make sure people from the world notice you and your grandeur!
Like meter: 100 likes!!!
So that’s about it! Easy right? Just do this everyday for the rest of your life and you assure yourself that you will be loved. No need to do anything for real, no hassle of real life, with just the simple tool of social media, you can appear to be something even when you aren’t – and it isn’t that every one’s dream come true?