I’m a heavy internet user, hence the blog and the social media accounts, but it never fails to amaze me (despite being exposed to the internet most of the time) of how dramatic people seem to live their lives and how magical they feel it should be. Most days I try to avoid people who I know will annoy me and most of the time I am successful at that, worse comes to worse I unfriend them (I am a jerk, what are you going to do about it?) but in that special time when I read something that causes me to want to pull my hair out because people are the way they are, I just can’t help but think about ranting in their faces on how seemingly moronic their words could be. And to annoy the hell out of you today, here are 3 phrases that annoy the crap out of me.
1. YOLO. Yeah, we know. In fact, it’s the reality of life. Anybody who ever lived, died. So what? Keep calm YOLO? What’s that supposed to mean? What are you trying to accomplish? Telling people to keep calm because they only live once? That doesn’t make any sense. Maybe for something like, LET’S SKYDIVE, YOLO. Or maybe, LET’S SCREW EVERYONE, YOLO. Yeah, you only live once, so when I slit your throat then you’ll be dead and will definitely less annoying, my one life could be so much better. (In the light of this YOLO crap, SNL did a cool music video for this, you should watch it.)
2. Carpe diem! With the exclamation point. Telling people to seize the day and how you seize the day, every single fucking day is stupid. It defeats the entire purpose of the statement. So you want to live life and conquer the world, then stop sharing your life in social media and start living it. Why the hell do you need to document every little thing you do? Because you want to document every breakfast that you’ve had? For what? Because every day is a new day to eat fucking breakfast and that’s how you seize the day? You can only seize the day with conquering small challenges, and if you think seizing the day includes what clothes to wear, then you should just drop dead because you probably can’t handle anything else.
3. I’m real. Let me just say that anyone who claims to be real is fake. Because for what purpose do you need to convince anybody that you are who you are. Who else could you be? Claiming to be yourself with people not knowing anyone else but who you are is pointless, and those who claim that they are their real selves are way in over their heads. I get it, they are trying to separate themselves from fake people who smile when they talk to you and stab them in the back. But making the distinction that they are real and the people they know are fake so do not mistake them for being the people they know. So anyone who claims to be real is probably a robot who apparently got lost in the matrix somewhere and got abducted by Agent Smith and what we interact with them now is only a proxy.
These are not the only overused phrases flooding the internet from people trying to get attention. To those who love using these words, word of caution, some of us are tired of reading and hearing about them. If you crave attention, it’s better to just say it like it is, or maybe find something more inventive like showing your cleavage or your bed look (oh wait!).