Weird Observations – Vampires

I think with all the hyped up attention in the entertainment industry ,we’ve suffered the true nature of vampires and I don’t get it. I’ve never been a big fan of vampires because I think they are boring, since they live forever, but the Anne Rice vampires are fine. But now, being vampire isn’t what it was all cracked up to be. Here are a couple of things that contemporary vampires have that I find weird.

1. Why the hell are they eating real food? Aren’t these things supposed to bedead? Their hearts stop beating when they turned into the undead. They have no need to eat because they have a steady blood only diet. They are supposed to be walking talking smart zombies that drink blood. That’s it, eating smores and drinking alcohol is not part of the menu.

2. Why are they allowed in daylight? For the love of literature, stop finding ways to let these things go out in the sun. They are not supposed to! They used to be called creatures of the night for a reason, leave them wandering off into the sun and going to school! The vampire legends are related to vampire bats who drink blood from cows and these bats hunt during the night, let them stay behind the dark.

3. Why are they mating with humans? I mean falling in love with a human probably is one of the things that could happen, but how in the world can they produce off springs? They don’t even sweat, how the hell can they ever produce fluids that pops out a half mortal, half dead being that’s conveniently in between both worlds.

4. Why have they changed priorities? For crying out loud, vampires are supposed to be bored creatures looking for someone to share eternity with. Yes, there are occasional Van Helsing type of guy out to get them but that’s it, no more. Dracula didn’t go around looking in high school classrooms for a mate, he wandered off looking for victims in homes. These things are supposed to be old school, FYI, they have been around for so long, they do not change into teenagers when they hit 300 years old.


Weird Observations – Music

1. Music videos are all about sex. Put some freaking clothes on! Why do you have to wear almost nothing in a music video? It’s not even just rap, it’s almost everything. People in lingerie running around singing, what’s the point in that.? Will your legs or your breasts sell the record? Is our culture that sex-deprived or we’re just used to it? To this all I can say it, stop selling yourself, sell the music.

2. People are more focused on the artist that the art. People going crazy over artists, I mean stalker crazy. When did the artist become more important than the art? You can hear people liking a band because they’re cute, and that’s it. They don’t even understand the genre of music the band is playing. I think Jared Leto said it best when he said they are just the messengers, artists are supposed to be the medium for the collective thoughts of the people so stop glorifying them that way. It’s getting ridiculous.

3. You forget what music is really about. Some of the lyrics now are just plain, literally plain. Just as long as you can sell the record, it’s fine. You don’t see the soul and the beauty in the music anymore. You forgot that music is supposed to move you, that’s why it’s called art. It’s supposed to make you smile or make you cry. To me, any song that doesn’t take you to another place isn’t music, it’s just noise.

4. People singing who have no business in singing. Let’s face it, Rebecca Black got viral for being ridiculous not because she’s talented. Where is the music in that? This is definitely applicable in a Philippine setting. People don’t need any kind of singing talent whatsoever to get a hold of a record deal. All you need is your face stamped on the cover and you can sell it like hotcakes.

Weird Observation – Pinoy Slang

I don’t know if it’s because I don’t watch local TV but the new Pinoy terms confuses the hell out of me. And it’s not I’m not trying to understand it, but in my opinion, our language has just evolved into this self-mutilating and aggressively progressing language that I can no longer recognize.

I mean if it wasn’t enough that we love using brand names for generic items like Coke for soda, Colgate for toothpaste, Pampers for diapers, Safeguard for soap, Xerox for photocopiers. Or that we love to put words in reverse, sigarilyo becomes yosi. We have also have jejemons who need to take a spelling and grammar lesson from a 1st grade student, we seemed to have developed words that confused even us Pinoys. And it’s not even our different terms for things like take out instead of to go, or nail cutters instead of nail clippers, we really have established a language that would confuse somebody.

So I tried to do an experiment, I went online to look for Pinoy slang and tried to figure out the definition of some terms before I actually searched for what it really meant. Here’s what happened:

1. Pagoda tragedy – The first thing that came into my mind was a disaster or someone drowning, hence the reference to the event. But turns out, this meant tired. Pagoda meaning pagod.

2. Cereal – I thought breakfast, kind of like the brand name for the generic thing but it actually meant man boobs and I have no idea how it got to man boobs. I have no reference to how and why this meant that.

3. Haribashni – I guessed this to be someone rich because of the first two syllables is hari = king. But the word meant bad smell, this too I have no idea how this was derived.

4. Ligwak – This I guessed to be defeat which wasn’t so far off from its true meaning which is to eliminate.

5. Swardspeak – I thought this was some kind of talk that people that belonged to this “sward” group which I also don’t know who. But the meaning of this term is “the definition”.

Since I got 1 out of 5, I guess this pretty much shows that a lot of these words are just down right unrecognizable. I’m not sure if we find this cool or whatever but this language revolution has really got me thinking, shouldn’t words be a way to communicate things clearly, not a means to complicate matters more?

Terms were taken from

Weird Observations – Profile Pictures

1. “Candid” self – portraits. Guys, we can see the hand extension and the effort in your face to look candid. IT DOESN’T LOOK CANDID. When did looking at the camera and just smiling not enough? Why do you have to try to fool everybody that you look good with a stolen shot that’s not really stolen? Note, it doesn’t make it less vain if you make it candid, on the contrary, it makes you seem more self-obsessed because we know how many tries it took you to get that “candid” photo.

2. Pictures in washrooms. There are only two major things you can and should do in washrooms, number 1 and number 2, taking pictures shouldn’t be one of them. Of course washing your hands and checking yourself is a given but to pose in front of the mirror and take a gazillion pictures is just crazy. You took pictures for everyone to see that you’re in a washroom, fine, you look nice but we can see the tiles and sometimes even the toilet which really doesn’t seem all that cool.

3. Pictures of taking your own pictures. Yes, we get it, you own a DSLR, and it looks expensive too. You look like a professional photographer, just put the vest on. You know what, people buy SLRs to take pictures of everything, like the people around them, nature, traffic, the dogs on the street, but taking a picture of yourself of taking the picture shouldn’t be one of them. I mean, put it to good use, your camera deserves more than that.

4. Gadgets. FYI, your iPhone looks like every other iPhone, I bet it has the same features too. I think most of us have seen an iPhone and in truth, it confuses the hell out of us who you are because your picture isn’t of a person but of a gadget. Yeah, fine, you can afford to buy silicon valley, so what? You don’t need to show it off, we all know that you’re trying so hard so that we’ll envy it. Don’t worry, we’ll try not to drool over the iPad you bought to you can go on FB on it which you can also do on your computer.

5. Jumping heart shots. When did this become a fad? I don’t even get the point, to jump next to somebody trying to put up a heart while jumping. What’s up with this? I really don’t get it. And the effort people put into this is just frustrating so just don’t do it, personally, I don’t appreciate seeing this. Just do a jump shot or a heart shot, alright? That’s already enough.

Weird Observations – Pinoy Culture

1. Our next best thing to “pandesal and kape” is pancit canton. We love pancit canton, I don’t think lucky me would ever go bankrupt as long as they manufacture pancit canton for the rest of their lives. And it’s not even that it’s cheap, we just love the taste of it. We even eat it with rice! I don’t think I know anybody who doesn’t eat or like pancit canton. Most of us even crave for it. It’s definitely got tatak pinoy.

2. Our news includes showbiz. The news may have the worst set of calamities and political debates but as soon as the showbiz segment (we have a full segment on it, most of the times even two) comes on, it puts a smile in everybody’s faces to watch the lives of our celebrities. I don’t understand why people want to be part of the lives of celebrities who want their lives to be private, isn’t that ironic?

3. We leave the last piece of food on the server. Why is it when it comes to the last piece, we all back down? And it doesn’t matter if we are still hungry, we would never touch the last piece. Some of us even decline even if it was offered to us. Even in a group of people, after eating, we would all look at the last piece and think to ourselves, “I’m still hungry but there’s no way I’m getting the last piece”. I think we consider it as being polite, but even if we eat all that’s in the plate so long as we leave on tiny piece behind, we still consider it as polite. The weirdest thing about this is that in the end, most tables leave the last piece untouched.

4. Most of our rap music has only one beat. It’s not that I hate the rap in the Philippines, but come on? You can play most of the rap music we have and consider it as one extremely long and boring track. With one long stanza on a beat with the chorus of a girl singing a ballad. Can’t rap music grow together with the other genres of music? Does it really have to be that lame?

5. The only sports we recognize are basketball and boxing. There are a lot of sports in the world. Thank goodness to the charisma of the Younghusbands that football is gaining recognition and the growing popularity of the Rowing team that we are now able to consider something else. But for the longest time, we never really gave other sports much of a chance. We fail to consider that there is more to sports than PBA, Men’s basketball in UAAP and Manny Pacquiao.

Weird Observations – Fashion

1. Wearing shades indoors. Are your eyes really that sensitive? Are the dim lights inside restaurants damaging your sight? Are the flashing lights in bars too much for you to handle? What’s up with wearing shades when you’re not outside? It’s like wearing clothes while taking a bath, it’s stupid and unnecessary.

2. Wearing glasses without frames. When did the functionality of glasses become the frames and not the lenses? All this time I thought glasses were for people who couldn’t see well, not for people who couldn’t think right. Guys, it doesn’t make you look cool or smart, it makes you look idiotic.

3. Wearing leather boots. Really? Leather boots in Manila, I can’t even imagine how hot that can be. I was standing behind this girl in the cinema once wearing boots almost up to her knees complaining it was hot, I wanted to slap her and tell her she’s in a tropical country to stop her from throwing a tantrum. Seriously, it’s hot enough wearing flip flops, please stop wearing boots.

4. Wearing cocktail dresses in malls. Do you really have to that well-dressed while window shopping? The shimmer in the dress is more attractive than the glitters inside the stores. Don’t you have any pairs of jeans and shirts to wear? It doesn’t even seem like fashion sense and it’s hard not to look at you because the light hits you and you reflect it. I think someone needs to tell you that you don’t look nice wearing that in a mall, it makes you look out of place.

5. Wearing socks with sandals. Is this fashion sense or comfort because it’s illogical for either. I’ve never thought wearing socks with birkenstocks as fashionable. It’s like you are wearing clothes but we can still see your underwear. It can’t be for comfort either because let’s face it, how big of a difference does it really make wearing sandals with socks and wearing shoes with socks. Guys, it doesn’t look hip, it looks sad. Sad for the sock to be exposed like that and the person who needs to wash those darn socks.

6. See-through clothes. This to me tops it all. What’s the point of wearing see-through whatever clothes if we can see what you’re wearing inside?! Or wearing net clothes like stockings so you won’t feel cold? I thought the whole point of wearing clothes was to cover yourself up or protect yourself from the weather? When did fashion ever precede the need for actual clothes, because I never got the memo.

Weird Observations – About guys

1. Why do they like smelling nasty things and make you smell them? I mean they already know that it smells bad, but they will still smell it. Is it really satisfying to smell things like worn socks or dirty toe nails? Are they checking if it really stinks or do they just like the smell? Worse part of it, they will make you smell it too. Note, if you think it smells bad, it probably smells bad, there’s no point of confirming it.

2. Guys who call their guy best friend as my “guy best friend”. I don’t know why they just can’t refer to these people as close friends. I thought the normal term for guy friends are just close friends, why do they have to explicitly say over and over again that these guys are their BEST FRIENDS? They are just your friends, it makes you seem gay when you say it repetitively.

3. Guys who are extremely concerned about fashion. These are not the guys who at least care about what they look like. These guys are the ones who can tell you exactly what they wore on what event and why they wore it. Shouldn’t there be a line with people like this? Guys, in general, women don’t care what you wear as long as you look clean, they are more concerned about what other women are wearing than yours. And needless to say, other guys don’t give much of a crap about it either.

4. Guys who say IKR (I know right?!). There are so many ways to agree with somebody, this shouldn’t be one of them. Guys, it’s not even cool when girls say it, so please note, it’s not good.

5. Guys who have no idea what Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are. I don’t know what planet these guys come from but really? Not unless you’ve been living in a hole for the last 100 years, and don’t have access to any kind of material like TVs or newspapers can you make that exception. But if you’ve been living with the technology and you don’t know Yoda, it’s definitely weird.